End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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