dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
