I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
