You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
