Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
