Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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