Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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