paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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