and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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