it hurts more in the daytime
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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