she looked like the before picture.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
