so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Someone signed my nipple.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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