He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
