He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I want a musical about memes.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
