someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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