oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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