so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
