is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
