The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
