Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
