So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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