my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
