We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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