garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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