I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
