Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize