i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
