I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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