you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I need moral support for this bender
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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