I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
