then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so explain again why im purple
no
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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