Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
