I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
