Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
