i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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