Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
