I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
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if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity