if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You ruined the universe
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize