I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
