It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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