We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
