I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We left the knife in your bed.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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