The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
