Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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