There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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