It's just like the Real World with babies
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just had sex on a roof
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
