I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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