...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
