To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i think my cat just said my name.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
