did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
