She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize