omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
