My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize