I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Panties = found
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
