Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
