hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Jerry, you need to find god
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
