I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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