I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
