i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
