I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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