ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
