ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
