you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
