She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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