ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
