i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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